Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Money Pet

So, where does the dog get the money? Going from the tagline, I'm guessing prostitution.

Friday, May 27, 2011


Apparently The Number 23, The Omen remake, Knowing, 2012, Chain Letter, The Da Vinci Code, and Angels and Demons weren't nearly enough to placate a numerology thriller-hungry audience.

Although it is nice that they brought on a director who has experience with numbers, repetition, and disappointment.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale

Yup, those are the kinds of facial expressions you make once you've resigned yourself to appearing in a movie directed by Uwe Boll.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Extreme Movie

Woah, is that a Pre-Raphaelite painting of Michael Cera? That is SO EXTREME DAWG!

Also, this is apparently "soft porn masquerading as comedy starring Jamie Kennedy" week.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Finding Bliss

You seriously couldn't get Jamie Kennedy in the studio for a photoshoot? I guess his busy schedule conflicted with Denise Richards's.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Melancholia (Foreign)

6,000,000 JEWS

(They reuse designs, I reuse jokes. Fair is fair.)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Friday, May 13, 2011



Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Fast Five

Why is the poster for a film that consists almost entirely of carsplosions so...painterly? This looks like something that should be hanging in my dentist's waiting room.

Fast Five: A film by Terrence Malick.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Heavy Petting

The man and the dog were about to kiss before a cardboard cutout got in the way.
That is literally the only way to process this image.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Chaperone

If ever a movie poster merited a "waah waah" trombone sound, surely this would be it.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Ward

Domestic Abuse Barbie seems skeptical of this quote from Tim Hannigan of "Movies Online".

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Truth H- I mean, The Dilemma

Giving your movie two taglines, one of them bigger than the actual title, is surely a Good Idea.
Then again, I can see how it would take all day to come up with something as clever and original as "THE TRUTH HURTS". I'd probably want to put that front and center too.

The Dilemma

Two-dimensional black people make bad movie posters like this, but doughy white people make bad movie posters like this.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Heart Specialist

Method Man and Ed Asner: Together at last in this "new style comedy"!
(Yes, this is an actual poster. Yes, this had a theatrical release.)