Thursday, June 30, 2011

Hey, It's That Guy From That Thing: THE MOTION PICTURE

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

5 Days of War

"Based on actual events"? Man, if I outran fire breathing helicopters only to be played in the movie by "Rupert Friend", I would be pretty miffed.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Doctor Dolittle: Tail to the Cheif

Man, Vivid Entertainment is going to be pissed when they learn that they'll have to change the subtitle of their inevitable Obama- themed adult film.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Beethoven's Big Break

Pfft, teach it to play basketball, THEN I'll be impressed.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011


"Die Hard in a kaleidoscope with the Twilight werewolf" probably shouldn't have made it past the "high concept" stage.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Friends with Benefits

It's nice to see movie stars using their platform to spread awareness of debilitating conditions like Alien Hand Syndrome.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Romeo and Juliet (in Yiddish)

Sorry, but this project lost all credibility the moment you decided not to call it Romeo and Jewliet.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Green Lantern

"Woah, you didn't tell me Abin Sur was going to be in it! Now I have to see this movie!!!"- Literally no one, ever

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Fifth Quarter

A mass of white people, bathed in golden light, raising their arms in salute? Yeah, that's pretty inspirational all right.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Straw Dogs

Run! The sepia is coming from inside the glasses!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Undefeated

"Make sure the poster for my Sarah Palin movie looks as much like old Soviet Propaganda as possible please!"- Stephen K. Bannon

Also, the poster for Sarah Palin's movie literally depicts a beautiful natural landscape sullied by an ugly oil pipeline. That seemed worth mentioning.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Judy Moody

Wow! It's like Mary Poppins meets Scott Pilgrim meets blunt force trauma! That's totallyrandomcrazypantsawesome wickedcheesefartsomeonehelpme!

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Smurfs

Well, they only missed the boat on that nonsensical pop culture reference by about five years.
Well, they only missed the boat on that nonsensical pop culture reference by about thirteen years.

Well, they only missed the boat on that nonsensical pop culture reference by about FORTY THREE YEARS.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Three Musketeers

Some People, At Least Three of Whom are Likely Musketeers by Anonymous Intern
Pirated copy of Photoshop© on Canvas, 2011
(This piece on loan from the Paul WS Anderson Center for Fine Arts.)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Hard Breakers

From the look on Tom Arnold's face, the battle of the sexes isn't the only thing that just got harder!

There's also Tom Arnold's penis. That's the main thing I want you to take away from this. Tom Arnold's engorged penis.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011


To to recap we have:
  • Red Text
  • White Background
  • A grown man in a diaper
  • C-list actors
  • A midget
Yet neither hide nor hair of Jamie Kennedy? Something is amiss here.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Chalet Girl

It's cute that they put "snow-mantic" in quotes as though it were a thing an adult human would ever actually say.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

And Soon The Darkness

You know you've got a problem when even the people on the poster are ignoring your movie.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Meet Monica Velour

I'm guessing "airbrushed, flipper-handed fifty-something presented as an object of sexual desire" falls under the heading of "fantasy".